This upcoming November the American people will witness the world’s most cut-throat competition in recent memory. 24 candidates will enter the political sphere like never before. Their ideas, beliefs and very foundation of their character will be put under constant, unruly fire from opposition that is looking for any flaw in the armor of their logic. Opposition that with unprecedented speed and accuracy will shoot down any ideal the opposition deem untrue. Opposition that with no remorse, emotion or hesitancy will tear a whole man down, just to get one leg up in the race. A race that ends with only one candidate standing. We are talking about the 2020 presidential election.
I have been tasked with giving my opinions and predictions for the election. Now you see this is a very touchy subject for many people and I don’t want to ruffle any delicate feathers. So, I have decided to go about forming my predictions in the most unbiased way I could think of. So, I decided to plug in all the names of the 2020 presidential candidates into a Hunger Games simulator and who ever won got 1 point. To more accurate represent the candidates that have a higher chance of winning the election some candidates had double representation. In order to achieve fair results, the simulation was performed the exact same way 50 times.
During the first few simulations everything was proceeding more or less as expected, candidates such as Trump and Sanders began to run away with an early lead. Then simulation #5 happened. The game began just like the others, about 3-4 candidates died at the cornucopia, but most of them got away from the cornucopia unharmed. Early on the second day of the games Bernie Sanders stumbled upon some explosives in the forest. With his newfound explosives he would trek back towards the cornucopia looking for an alliance that was forming between 4 of the candidates. When Bernie finally found this alliance, Bernie began to hurled pounds explosives towards the campsite of the unexpecting candidates. That night 4 booming cannon shots were heard in the dark night sky. In simulation 5 Bernie made it all the way to the top 2 taking second place to Andrew Yang. As the simulations continued things only continued to get weirder. Due to having 2 Trumps there were many situations where Trump would end up eliminating his counterpart (I think this is a lot deeper than it seems).
After 50 simulations, 1150 dead candidates, 50 victors and one Bernie Sanders quadra kill we finally have the final point totals. Now without further ado lets get into the results. First on the Democratic side we had Booker, Buttigieg, Harris, Ryan and Warren all with one point; Bennett, Delaney, Gabbard, Messam and Steyer all earning 2 points; Bullock, Williamson and Yang getting 3 points; Castro and O’Rourke both came away with a respectable 4 points and finally Bernie Sanders being the Democratic leader securing a staggering 7 points. On the Republican side of things there were only 4 candidates and 3 of them only got one point, these being Stanford, Weld and Walsh. Now Donald Trump, he had a very impressive showing scoring 6 points, he could have very well have won the whole thing if it wasn’t for him literally shooting himself in the foot. There were 12 different simulations were one of the Trumps killed the other.
Congratulations to Bernie Sanders on a game well played. Honorable mentions to Beto O’Rourke for having the highest kills to death ratio and to Andrew Yang for winning a game without killing a single other candidate. On a more serious note, as funny as putting all of the candidates into a Hunger Game simulator is, we have to remember why the hunger games exists in the books, for entertainment. One of the worst things we could have in the modern day of America is if we allow politics to get to a point where we are pinning candidates against each other for nothing other than internment. This will lead to something known as reality show politics. Where legitimate candidates that would make a great president are scared away form running due to the constant pressure they would be under to provide entertainment. This will lead to a more divided America and overall a worse day to day life for the American people. We need to treat politics more like what it is and less like a form of entertainment like a reality show.